Wednesday, May 15, 2002

Fuck the Zendom article. It's giving me agita and it's just too big. The questions are too big: why do we write about these characters if we're not keeping them in their natural habitats? Is it fanfiction at all if Mulder and Scully are 1920s jazz musicians?

squint and you'll see it, though: yes.

Because Maayan mentioned offhand that Lennier was like Aeryn, a little. And he is. And damn it if I didn't start scribbling right there, Aeryn though. Not Lennier. Lennier's still percolating -- but of course, that's why I'm here, because it looks like I'm writing Aeryn for the first time. We'll see what she does for me.

So, squint and you'll see it, yes. Yes, if the author knows what she's doing. Yes, if the author gets that visceral nag from the character, that whateveritis that makes Cordelia better than OFC Heidi. Write a story about a slave girl on a pirate ship starring OFC Heidi and mom'll be proud: "why don't you write something you can publish?" Write a story about a slave girl on a pirate ship starring Angel and Cordelia and we get paid in blogbacks and feedbacks, but more because we get to spend a little more time with those kids, our kids, the kids we watched and studied who got us here in the first place.

Strangely, that wasn't going to be the point, but it looks like it is the point.

The next point's about Aeryn and Lennier, about what we've been taught and what we respect and what we think makes us weak.

We'll see if writing Aeryn gets me any closer to Lennier. And we'll see if Maayan watches B5. We'll speak French. We'll speak later.

Zendom. I'm not sure I can save this now.